Wednesday, November 5, 2014

THE DATING CHRONICLES- A Chapter

Let me begin with, THIS IS GOING TO GET A LITTLE NASTY...

The Dating Game has emerged in this new digital, high-speed arena with loosey-goosey players that have no rules and/or scruples.  You enter The Twilight Zone with pie-in-the-sky dreams: Fresh, Optimistic, Willing, Determined and SOMETIMES, Innocent.  What happens next can only be described as a Box of Chocolates.

Soooooo... you meet online.  He likes you, you say, eh... why not.  You both get to typing, then talking, and eventually meeting.  All is honkey dory.  As an educated, free-spirited, fast-talking gal, things are said upfront.  Expectations, likes/dislikes, dreams/aspirations, etc., etc., etc...  Eyes meet, gestures made, affirmations and  agreements accomplished.  So, it’s all good... ya think.

Well, it’s really not.  In the Real World, there are hidden agendas.  Although I don’t think one is ever really privy to all the covert missions that exist, one does begin to peep the Real Story as time goes by. 

BEWARE OF:
• A RETARDED COMMINICATOR- This is that person that can not function within normal social norms like returning phone calls, answering basic questions, The Hider vs. Provider of solutions.  You don’t want this in your life.  You find yourself constantly seeking answers and tiptoeing around The Retard trying to slickly undercover clues and solve puzzles
• HOUDINI- Now he’s here, POOF, & NOW HE’S NOT.  This is the most obvious of clues that you should run... & FAST!  Who wants to be with someone that’s like a Human Shell Game?
• LIMP DICK LARRY-  Enough said
• THE A-SEXUAL-  ... Limp Dick Larry
• THE ADAMS FAMILY-  When you are trying to build a sound, strong future, it’s imperative that you dip into your partner’s “soup”. See what ingredients existed to prepare his/her dish.  When you run up on some intelligently WEIRD, rude, and self-centered folks, I, once again suggest you RUN. Bad ingredients lead to indigestion &/or The Runs.  Both very unpleasant experiences
• BAD PARENTING PRACTICES-  The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.  When you witness overindulgence, the Blind-Eye, spoileration... Get outta there.  If The Bad Seed is a real presence in your partner’s life, you got a REAL problem on your hands, unless you, too, like to turn the other cheek.  It’s either that or prepare yourself for your own personal Game of Thrones.
• PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE WHINERS- If you are a patient soul and not easily bothered by subtle daggers shot your way, skip this.  Otherwise, be prepared to be on the front lines and to whack-a-mole WHENEVER NECESSARY

Now, every Fairytale has its own ending, just like every Fable.  As the creator and Protagonist of your story, it’s up to you to successfully create, star, and determine your own conclusion. Get rid of those villains.  Today, right now, I am still convinced that The Prince DOES still exist.

THE END.